Paula Radcliffe Using Spider Powers to Win Olympics
After being bitten by a toxic spider in France, Paula Radcliffe found that she could climb upside down and shoot webs from her wrists. The 34-year old Olympian is planning to use her new-found superpowers to claw back her marathon title: “It’s really amazing the speed that you can get up through the air” Radcliffe is reported to have not said. Unfortunately, there are no other spiderwomen to compete against, so Radcliffe is aiming to win gold in the marathon at Beijing even though her new powers give an obvious edge over competitors.
Olympic officials are dismayed that the athlete intends to use her webs in a tarzan fashion - despite the race being a strict running event. A spokewoman for the Olympic Committee in China said: “We have many rules against doping and certain surgeries, but a dramatic change in genetic makeup is unheard of and we have no regulations to cope with this unforseen event”. So it seems that Radcliffe will swing, unchecked into the Olympic record books.
Have your say - should superheroes be allowed to compete in the Olympics? Leave comments in the box below.
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Web-a-licious, Linda H!
Maybe they can put on a special race along the great wall of china for all the Super hero’s in the world and beyond!
WOULD BE PRETTY AWESOME DON’T YA THINK!
Badger rang and his clan created the swimming complex at this years games from their burrowing - a good side line. However, under the streets the badger games have been ruined by the Chinese method of hiding their “pollution” - ie pumping it into the underground world with giant dysons.
The badgers and other underground creatures, even the vowls, have been forced to cancel their events and travel around over land in disguise. If you see a lot of blacked out water cannons, have no fear it is the underworld. But cometh the hour of doom - be warned
Some whispers say that the only way to prevent the problem escalating is by joining the games with a toxic spider rave. It is hoped that the underworld will similarly evolve and be able to compete on a level playing field, no longer having to play second fiddle!
Damn that badgerclaw - he has been at my rhizome wine again and has enraged the whole McVoleison tribe, the pedants that we are, grr will he ever stop mixing us up with the Variable Ordnance Warhead Launcher of all things to the folk on the tinterweb!
That aside the voles are also in favour of a toxic ant meeting sooner rather than later. Bring it.
By the way LINDA you should write for THE SPOOF, check it out here;
http://www.thespoof.com/register.cfm