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Last week we bought the tickets.

They cost a few pounds.

Flying to Melbourne on the 8th December from Gatwick.

I’m pretty excited. In fact, I’ve not been this excited for… ever. A one-way ticket, few funds and no plans add to the mix: I am fairly nervous.

My only real worry is that I’ll end up doing the same old shit, but in a different place: doing part-time work to make enough money to eat/sleep/move on.

I will not be straight out into the wilderness however, as I’m going with Linda, my girlfriend, and we’ll be staying with my brother until just after christmas. That is the plan. What next?

I’ve actually no idea. I can’t even imagine what the place is like. I’m hoping it’s a bit like Ramsay Street but with swear words. My parents went to visit my brother fairly recently and showed me some photos of what they saw. All looked awesome. There was one that I liked in particular when they were “attacked” by a gang of parrots (parakeets?) that sat on their heads and ate from their hands. I’ve always liked parrots. They look like good lads. I look out the window here, in Yorkshire and see… A blackbird.

Not that blackbirds are devoid of beauty, but I’ve seen enough of them for a while. They are, quite simply, black birds. A bit of colour would be nice from time to time in my opinion. And the Aussies have got a lot more colourful wildlife.

Australia is more colourful altogether from what I’ve seen. We’ve been experiencing the most grey, windy, charmless days that England can throw at us right here recently, and I’m Englanded out. More so now that I know I’m going. My feet are itching to say the least.

The reason I’m putting all this down is, dull though it is, at least I’ve got a reference point to go back to later. A before and after shot. I know this place. I know England. Of course, there are many places I haven’t seen or visited in these fair isles. Of course there are a lot of places I’ll never see, and I’ll be poorer for not having visited them. But, I’ve seen enough for now. I’ve had 22 years of England (save for brief periods in Germany, Spain, Egypt on holidays).

I do have the advantage of having been brought up, and living in, one of the most beautiful parts of the country - the Yorkshire Dales - Wensleydale to be precise. Coming from such an area, it is difficult not to have an affinity with the landscape and with nature. Romanticism in the extreme? A bit cliched? Probably yes to both, but I do appreciate the landscapes and wildlife, as well as people (most of my tales and pictures will be people based).

To return to my thoughts upon preparing to leave. There are many things about the UK that I’m less pleased with. A lot of people irritate me in this country. I don’t know what it is like in other countries, because I’ve not been to any for a prolonged period. Someone asked me the other day why I was going to Australia and my answer at the time was “to see if there aren’t as many dickheads there”.

(The people in the photo on the left are dickheads)
This suggests that I think everyone in the UK is a dickhead. I don’t. Indeed, it’s not a word I normally use in day-to-day conversations. However, there are a lot of people who talk a lot of shit. And by this I mean hurtful, hateful, ignorant, shit. I don’t mind people having an opinion, or even being opinionated, but talking absolute shite - stupid, unfounded rubbish - really gets to me (e.g. “asylum seekers”,”the bloody Polish”, “benefit cheats” and all the rest of the god-awful stuff that gets banded around in most pubs, clubs and supermarket conversations). I realise that most of it is propagated by our offensive and partisan media, but I’ll save that for my soapbox… Yes, I’ve got one… What I mean to say is. Most of the chat and many widely held opinions I get here (maybe quite localised I know) on a daily basis makes me reel, bite my tongue, and generally leaves me feeling jaded to say the least. Much of why I’m going to Australia can be covered in under “why I want to leave England” - so there it is. Pretty much.

That, and the grey, windy, damp, dreary weather. And the blackbirds.